Redefine the Limits
We are constantly told “no” throughout our lives.
The ‘no’s’ are usually intended to help us by setting boundaries on what we can and can’t do.
“No, you can’t have that cookie before dinner.”
“No, you can’t drive the car: you don’t have a license.”
“No, you can’t date him or her.”
These are reasonable limits—good boundaries meant to save us from pain or trouble.
We need people to set these limits because we often don’t know what is good for us.
Societies need limits or we become lawless. Laws keep us safe:
“Don’t kill.”
“Don’t drive drunk.”
All good things.
But what if the limits placed around us aren’t helpful? What if well-meaning people put up walls that hold us back?
Here are a few I hear a lot when talking with skaters, artists, and entrepreneurs:
“You can’t ride that board—you might fall and die.”
“You can’t be an artist. Get a real job. That’s just a hobby.”
“You can’t open that restaurant. They all fail. You will fail. Find a real job.”
Good limits protect us; bad ones confine us, placing caps on experience and potential.
Bad limits confine us to jobs and tasks that aren’t meant for us, capping what we can experience.
Once upon a time, an elderly woman of some renown told me I would never make it as a writer and an artist. I was in my early thirties at the time, and she told me very coldly that my life was over. She said my only hope was to pray that my children advanced beyond me.
I’ve since forgiven her: she was tired, sick, disillusioned, and projecting her issues on me.
Recently, I was told skateboard decks and e-commerce were a hard grind—softly suggesting I should quit.
When someone tells you to stop doing the very thing burning in your heart, when that thing is good, faithful, and beautiful, when that thing only benefits others, push back. Go against it.
Redefine your limits. Challenge boundaries that confine rather than protect.
I’ve turned bad limits into stepping stones, using them to climb the walls in my path.
I now make a living as a writer. I am working towards living as an illustrator, first with Red Panda Skateboards and then beyond.
I am determined to see this company succeed.
Take a moment and identify one limit that others have set for you. Decide today which of these limits you truly need—and which you don’t. Choose one limitation to challenge or redefine this week.
Please hear me: keep the good limits.
Don’t eat cookies before dinner.
Don’t drink and drive.
Don’t drive 120 miles an hour when the speed limit is 60.
Stop dating that boy or girl if things are toxic, unhealthy, or abusive.
But for the bad limits, redefine them. Use them creatively to develop your gifts and talents.
You love to paint, but others are telling you to stop? Do it more. Do it in your free time. Shut off the phone and paint. Find every second of the day you can without ignoring your family or life, and paint.
Do you love writing poetry? Write more. Use lunch breaks or evenings. Ignore warnings and create—find outlets and get your work out.
Do you love to draw or skate? Go for it. Make it your own. Don’t let the negative Nellies in life keep you from expressing yourself in a positive, good, true, and beautiful way.
No’s will never go away. Every new endeavor you attempt will have someone telling you to stop. But as Shia LaBeouf says, “Just do it.”
Just keep going. Use the adversity to move you one step closer each day. It won’t all happen at once, but if you chip at it, you will reach your goal.
Think of Andy Dufrane in Shawshank Redemption. He used a small rock hammer to tunnel his way out of prison.
An old friend once asked me: “How do you eat an elephant?”
I looked at him, confused and annoyed. I had just complained about not getting anything done, ever.
He smiled and asked that question.
I was pissed and didn’t have an answer.
He laughed and said, “Never at all at once. Just take one bite at a time.”
Right now, choose one limit in your life to tackle. Take one action—however small—against it today. Keep at it, and over time watch those limits vanish.
